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Wednesday, May 17, 2006 

Anchorman (A Tribute)

You're so wise. You're like a miniature Buddha, covered with hair

This one goes out to Rasheed Wallace, and no it's not just a commentary on that ever expanding monk-like bald spot that's taking over his head. No, this one goes out to his always wise words. After guaranteeing a victory in game four, and having his Pistons come up short 74-72, a wise man knows better than to admit defeat and try to regroup. No no, a true wise man looks within himself and comes up with something profound to ridicule the people who just handed them their pants. Something like:

"The sun shines on a dog's ass every once in a while, doesn't it?... I ain't worried about these cats, there's no way in hell they beat us in a series."

Graceful in defeat as always, and certainly smart in setting more fire to spark a team that's already on a roll. Well done big man.

That's Science

What makes this somewhat eerie is what a blogger at Undisclosed Location wrote about Cleveland sports back in 2004:

"Cleveland tops the list of the 15 most tortured sports cities, and Graham Hays of ESPN2 predicts that our torture will continue for the next 100 years. Sad part is, with all that I've seen in Cleveland sports some of these ridiculous scenarios he describes could actually happen to some degree. We were already screwed over by Boozer this year, who decided to renig on his verbal agreement and bolt to the Utah Jazz (He did it all for the money. There is no other explanation. How do they have a better shot of winning than us with LeBron and Z?).
Despite all the crushing disappointments, I have faith that someday it'll turn around for this city. The sun shines on a dog's ass every once and a while doesn't it?"

So, either 'Sheed is a Undisclosed Location reader with a long long memory, or maybe the Cleveland prophecies are coming true. Maybe this one game, this one time defeat of a "guaransheed" will be the only sunshine on the dogs ass that is the Forest City, and they are still in for another 100 years of torture. I guess only the next century will tell, but hey, that's science.

Excuse me... is that 'sex panther' you're wearing?

No, it's not sex panther, but it is as close as you can get - Chacin! I found it really hard to believe that a cologne would be named after one of the ugliest men in sports who's best known for pitching in sun glasses whether he's indoors or in a thunder storm. I know that the idea come from a recurring skit on Toronto sports radio station FAN 590, and that at the June 27th game 10,000 fans will receive a sample of "Chacin Cologne", but is it actually going to be something that's sold in stores? It's pretty funny as a one time gag, and great that Chacin has enough sense of humour to go along with it, but if Leslie Cosmetics are actually planning on going forward with this in sales then someone there really has no understanding of either baseball fans, or women. There is nothing that makes sense about this product.

I'm in a glass case of emotion

I knew the Devil's were finished after that 20 second complete destruction early in the series, but I really didn't see the Sharks coming apart the way that they have. 3 straight losses to the lowly and hated Oilers, without even putting up anything that resembles a fight. It's like an annual ritual in the NHL now - all the Western Conference teams lay down to let a far inferior Alberta team waltz into the finals. I'm really getting that feeling now that God has taken up a Spring residence in the Princess Province, because nothing else makes sense at this point. Hopefully Joey and the Rucchin have enough pentagrams in their pockets to take on the big man in the next two matches. Dropping a series to a questionable playoff team after having a 2-0 lead is a horrible way to end one of the best second halves in history, and certainly no way for Joe to have to end one of the best seasons I've seen. They have to do something different to make that happen, though, as Joe said:

"We didn't put up too big of a fight in the last two games. I don't know what you've got to do, but just grab whatever confidence you can get and just go out and play the game of your life."

You know, times are changing. Ladies can do stuff now and you're going to learn how to deal with it.

They sure can, and even better than the rest of us, as evidenced by the nominees in my Miss Sports Blogger 2006 contest. Any one of them could easily write me under the table, and I'm by far the best male sports blogger out there. Hands down even. So that speaks volumes for all of these women. In the end, though, there could only be one winner, and your votes have spoken.

Second Runner Up (and lucky that I didn't pull her from contention after the last round of the playoffs), with 23% of the vote was Carolina Hurricaines-backer Acid Queen over at Sweet Tea, Barbeque and Bodychecks. At least the Hurricaines didn't manage to steal everything this week.

First Runner Up, with 27% of the vote was Christy (feel better and entertain us again soon!) Hammond over at Behind the Jersey. She may be the one person out there that was hurt more by the Red Wings first round shut down than I was. Instead of calling it the consolation prize, we'll say it's the Presidents Trophy. Wings fans are used to settling for that booby prize by now.

Finally, your winner of the 2006 Miss Sports Blogger contest, receiving 41% of the vote, was Alanah from Vancouver Canucks Op Ed fame. As you all wish, she is now Miss Sports Guy North (Jeff - please note that it's Miss not Mrs). We all know that in any good relationship it's the woman who's really in control, so along with the prestigious title, Miss SGN will get to decide what I post once a week until the end of the NHL and NBA playoffs, which should be 6 weeks. She can decide whatever freedoms i will or wont have with her themes, supply pictures, tell me to do the whole thing talking about how great her and the Canucks are, whatever she wants. The sky is the limit, Miss SGN, you've earned it!

what are you talking about? who wouldnt want to be drenched in the essence of gustavo? mmmm

you feeling better now champ?

does that make me Mrs. SGN?

you wish dog, stacy is the only mrs sprots guy, lol

heads up kobe is going to be on during halftime on tnt tonight im sure we are going to get some gems outta him with charles and kenny. i was going to touch on the sheed comment on my blog as wll today

i was happy to see sheeds comments... led me to be able to say that cleveland would win 4 straight games to take the series. im a huge cavs fan (was long before lebrons arrival) so that comment was the greatest thing in the history of ever for me!

oh yeah, and maybe i should have a Mrs. SGN contest next, that might be fun :p

great topic, keep up the great posts, MMA


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