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Sunday, July 02, 2006 

Elias For Only $1 Mil More Than Kubina. Thank You Mini-Babcock!

The Eddie Griffin Files

I'm told from time to time that this is, for the most part, a sports humour sight of sorts. Sometimes that's intentional, sometimes my opinions are just so warped that it seems like a joke, and other times this stuff just writes itself. In that vein, here now is a direct quote about Eddie Griffin of the Minnesota Timberwolves from a fantasy sports website.

Details are surfacing about Eddie Griffin's March automobile accident near a convenient store parking lot, and they're not pretty. He was allegedly driving drunk and masturbating to a porn DVD when he struck a parked SUV. He was then caught on video tape staggering around the convenient store, telling people he was drunk and that he didn't want to go to jail. He also told the owner of the vehicle he hit that he would buy him a new car, as long as it wasn't a Bentley. Officers took him home, reportedly without issuing any sobriety tests and a civil suit has been filed against Griffin and the city of Minneapolis. Griffin has undergone alcohol abuse treatment in the past, so it will be interesting to see how this ends.


Free Agency Day One

Atlanta - Johan Hedberg. Gotta wonder which version of Hedberg is going to show up for the Thrashers, or even if we're going to really get a chance to find out depending on how far down the bench he slides.

Boston - Boston brought in 2 of the big 5 free agents from this summer, signing Zdeno Chara for 5 years and Marc Savard for 4. When Ottawa signed Wade Redden yesterday, you knew that meant the end of Chara's time in Ottawa. By the same token, Chara's signing in Boston would surely mean the end of Hal Gil's days there.

Calgary - The Flames signed defenseman Andrei Zyuzin. Somewhere I imagine his mom, and possibly a crazy uncle of his, cared to some extent.

Carolina - The Caine's let Gerber go, clearly putting their faith in Cam Ward going forward. They also found a backup who, thanks to scapegoating, came in at a much lower price than he should have, as John Grahame signed a 2 year deal. Grahame's time in Tampa was ended for certain when the Lightning traded Freddy Modin for Marc Denis the other day.

Columbus - The Jackets quietly signed Alex Svitov Anders Eriksson. Shhh.

Detroit - Resigned Chris Osgood to a two-year deal. I really hope Red Wings fans weren't getting to used to being in first place every year.

Los Angeles - The King of Kings is heading back to La La Land, as Rob Blake signed a two year deal in the city that Wayne made today. You have to wonder some times just how short fans memories can be.

Montreal - Signed D-man Francis Bouillon for 3 years. Sounds French enough to me.

New Jersey - BIG WINNERS! The Devils managed to resign one of the biggest names in the league, and the most coveted free agent of the year as Jamie Langenbrunner signed a multi-year contract. In 236 games with the Red and Black, Jamie has 140 points, along with 34 points in 43 playoff games. Oh yeah, and I think some Patrick Elias guy may have signed as well.

Minnesota - The carney. He's still not that good.

New York Rangers - Signed forward Matt Cullen, defensemen Karel Rachunek and Daniel Girardi and goaltender Stephen Valiquette. Oh those Rangers.

Ottawa Senators - How do you replace guys like Dominek Hasek and Zdeno Chara? By signing Martin Gerber and Joe Corvo, of course. Sens fans will hardly notice a difference there.

Phoenix - In the biggest surprise of day one, the Coyotes managed to steal Ed Jovanovski from the Canucks and his boyfriend in Florida. I think Canucks Oped put this one best - Jovo Link Here.

Toronto - Signed defenseman Hal Gil and Philip Kubina. Kubina signed for $5 million a year. For Kubina. And I'm not kidding. How am I not kidding? I must be kidding. But apparently I'm not. So the top 4 defensemen in Toronto now make 1/3 of the salary cap, and include the names Gill and Kubina. Seems like a great plan in the works. If only they had some good young defensemen just waiting on the Marlies, like maybe Ian White, Carlo Colaiacovo, Brendan Bell, Jay Harrison, Marc Moro or Andy Wozniewski, so that they didn't always have to make these ridiculous signings at the expense of both talent and player development. JF Jr's new name is "Mini-Babcock". When you hear me refer to any new mistakes by Mini-Babcock from now on, it means JF Jr.

Tampa Bay - Remember when people used to try to pretend that Andy Delmore was decent? Good times.

Vancouver - Willie Mitchel. He's better than Baumgartner. Just need to find suitable replacements for the other 17 defensemen they lost now.

great recap, looking forward to day twos.

kubina. fucking leafs.

Didn't know you were posting again. Welcome back.

*I'm posting again as well, but don't tell anyone*

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