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Monday, June 26, 2006 

Joe Mikulik: A God Amongst... Men?

I sat down to write my first post in a month today and I found myself too overwhelmed with what to write about. So much happened in the last month, that there is just no way to jump into it without leaving something key out. Picking where to start was just too much of a challenge for me to handle: Carolina winning the Cup; How happy I was not to see Pronger win the MVP; How I couldn't even watch game seven for fear of the later occurring; Jagr's surprise award pickup; Jack Adams actually going where it was deserved; Soccer... So much diving... The penalty kick in the Australia game today, and how I've given up on soccer forever on account of it... More diving... Ways to fix soccer.... soccer soccer soccer... And how exactly does rolling around on the ground holding your face help a sore leg anyway?; David Wright making me look like a genius for taking him 3rd overall in my fantasy draft over Teixara, despite what everyone said at the time; Josh Towers; Tiger Woods missing the cut all three times I've picked him for my fantasy golf team; The Bertuzzi/Luongo trade; the Tanguay/Leopold trade; the Andre "Don't Call Me Jim Carey" Raycroft disaster in Toronto; the unbelievably frightening Pronger for Kaberle, Steen and a Draft Pick rumours that haunt my dreams; Shaq winning without Kobe; Wade winning without Shaq, ha; Brevin Knight for Alvin Williams and the first round pick rumours; The Red Rockets exodus, and it's effect on the psyche of Chuck Swirsky; The list just goes on and on and I had no idea where to start. And then I saw it: Ladies and gentlemen, Joe Mikulik of the Single A Asheville Tourists.

This just might be the best over-reaction, under-performing swan dive that you will ever see, assuming that you never played campus rec ball hockey on my team back in "the Ross days". And then it just keeps going and going and going. I'm not even sure I could say something to make this any funnier than it is on it's own. Just sit back and enjoy... and then explain to me what exactly he's doing with the water at the end there? It's like he's ruining his own sand castle that he got down on his hands and knees to make. He seriously got down on his hands and knees and piled dirt up over the plate. That is what a grown man did.

If I was an owner of a AA team, or even a Major League team for that matter, I would bring this guy in for an interview for a managing job. Not to hire him, but more like in the movie Fun With Dick and Jane, where Dick is out looking for a new job and they take him into the office because they all wanted to meet the guy that made such an ass of himself on national TV. Because this guy has guaranteed now that this is all he'll ever be. A footnote in the funny pages, and never, ever a coach again outside of the single A club he's temporarily with. I sure hope that sand castle was worth it.

Anyway, that's about all I have to say for today. Feel free to pick through the list above, or suggest anything else to me that happened in that last month that you'd like my take on. I'm open to any and all ideas right now. And with that, I'll leave you with this video that was sent to me by my buddy goober. It's a compilation of hockey goals from all over the world and all levels of play really. It calls itself a top ten, but there are a lot more goals thrown in there, and it is actually one of the better pieces I've seen. Of note are a Corey Perry goal (#4) in London, that by the looks of it I'm probably the only person out there who hasn't seen it. It's too much. Also, goal #3 is almost like out of a Mighty Ducks movie. The shot at the end where it kind of looks like the whole other team is just chasing after him and no one else is there has the same kind of fake movie feel to it. Only apparently it can really happen, so maybe the hockey scenes in those movies weren't as disturbingly unrealistic as they seemed. Maybe Iceland really is a hockey power that everyone should be scared of. Only time will tell, I suppose. Until then, just enjoy the footage, get your suggestions in, and I'm going back to bed. Goodnight everybody.

wright's alright. you know?

what are you doing back? i thought we were rid of you. if pronger had won the cup, would you have ever recovered?

wright was a bad choice, no matter how the season went.

that guys tirade was probably the best of all time. classic.

haha, that coach is some funny shit!!
and the raycroft trade is a reason why i'm happy i'm not a leafs fan

best regards, nice info » »


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