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Friday, April 07, 2006 

SLAMBALL v. 2006 WNBA Draft

Space Soccer

Before I get to the real topic at hand, that being the 2006 WNBA draft, I have something quick to mention about a less important sport – soccer. This past week, the first ever South American astronaut went to the International Space Station, a momentous occasion in Brazilian history.

When Brazilian President Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva spoke with Astronaut Marcos Pontes in a live hook up with the Space Station, what wise words did he have to put this huge piece of history in perspective? The President told him to come home soon to support his local soccer team who hadn’t been faring well lately. Leave it to soccer fans to put everything in perspective.


2006 WNBA Draft Recap

The Minnesota Lynx won the draft lottery and that meant that they won the rights to female-Lebron in this year’s draft. Seimone Augustus has cleaned house in recent times, picking up most of the awards that she could have to finish off her college career. She picked up all the player of the year awards, some Ward trophy I've never heard of, along with a Kodak thing and some Honda dealy.

Here now is a recap of the rest of the first round picks:


1 Minnesota Lynx Seimone Augustus, G, LSU
FemBron goes to Minny.

2 Phoenix Mercury Cappie Pondexter, G, Rutgers
That's one hell of a name. Can't go wrong with that pick.

3 Charlotte Sting Monique Currie, G, Duke
Probably a first team all-star, and likely 6' tall. Played for Duke, so that has to mean something, I guess.

4 San Antonio Silver Stars Sophia Young, F, Baylor
Sophie's solid in games that count. Hardly a tournament goes by where she's not the MVP. Only a second team all star, though, so the regular seasons not so hot.

5 Los Angeles Sparks Lisa Willis, G, UCLA
3 pointers and steals abound. I bet the Sparks could use that, cuz why not.

6 Chicago Sky Candice Dupree, F, Temple
She was the number 6 pick, so that means probably about the same height, weight and skill as me. That's just solid, that's all that is. Solid.

7 Minnesota Lynx Shona Thorburn, G, Utah
This one I know, because she went to Westdale High School in Hamilton, Ontario, which is where a lot of our friends in University were from. A white girl from Hamilton mountain. Somehow that doesn't sound like a sure thing pick.

8 Washington Mystics Tamara James, G, Miami
They made up for the white pick by going on a run of names they were sure belonged to black girls – Tamara James, and then 2 girls with apostrophes in their first names. Can't go wrong that way.


9 Indiana Fever La'Tangela Atkinson, F, North Carolina
Seems like a mediocre pick as I examine her stats. They just didn't want to make the same mistake the Mystics did. I swear that's what happened.

10 Charlotte Sting Tye'sha Fluker, C, Tennessee
At least this girl is 6'5". Not too bad looking either. Sounds like a great combination to me.

11 Seattle Storm Barbara Turner, G, Connecticut
As I come to the 10th pick I find myself wondering just how many teams are in the WNBA now. Has there always been this many? Doesn't seem like there was. Which means this used to be a second round pick, and that seems more fitting for Barbara.

12 New York Liberty Sherill Baker, G, Georgia
No college highlights listed, so I really don't know what to say about her. She's short with a lot of points, so I imagine she's fast and has a good shot. I'm going to call this pick the steal of the draft. Don't question it.

13 Sacramento Monarchs Kim Smith, F, Utah
Another white girl, and sure enough she's from Canada too. Out in BC this time. Her stats are far superior to anyone taken in the previous 8 picks, which is somewhat puzzling to me. She had 20 points a game even. Who knows what that actually translates to, though, I certainly don't.


14 Sacramento Monarchs Scholanda Hoston, G, LSU
Now that is a name. I mean, I thought Cappie Pondexter was a name, and maybe for the first and last combination it is, but Scholanda? Really, Scholanda? That's awesome. What better way to finish off the first round? Makes up for Kim Smith with their previous pick. Kim Smith. That's an accountant, not a basketball goddess.

42 Connecticut Sun Marita Payne, C, Auburn
I know what you're thinking; I jumped all the way to the last pick of the draft. But the Sun picked up a hot, 6'5" Australian with the last pick. Who doesn't love that accent? Talent be damned, the Sun are now officially my favourite WNBA team. I know what you're thinking – she's no Lauren Jackson (seen in the picture on the left). While that may be true, who cares? The world needs as many hot, freaky tall Australians as it can get. The official Marita Payne fan club starts here and now!


SLAMBALL Obituary

Why did this sport go away? Seriously. If you didn't hear about it, or if you brushed it off as just another gimmick, then you missed out. It was easily one of the 3 best sports of all time – and I'm not even counting barrel jumping in that list. It was fast, exciting, had great athletes (Stan Fletcher is still one of my favourite athletes of all time), exciting moves, and real games. Someone really needs to bring this back and mainstream. If there’s room for Skeleton and Soccer in the world, then there has to be room for Slamball. Anyway, to pay tribute to one of the greatest games, here are some highlight reels.






that was a HILARIOUS recap. you are going to take some heat for that.

bring back beaver tails at slamball games!

i love basketball australia! wow.

Loved your picks Kent. What a sense of humour!

Very nice site!
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