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Wednesday, March 01, 2006 

Notes of Note For Dummies

It’s not early to bed today, but on the other hand it was late to home. In either case, I’m tired and that can only mean one thing. It’s time for the great nation of Hungary’s favourite new feature: Notes of Note.

Beckham to Fail Grade One

So here it is, from the Sydney Morning Herald: http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2006/02/27/1140888775438.html

But that’s not enough. This is too good; I’m going to have to paste it again on my site to make sure you bother to read it:

England football captain David Beckham has confessed he is befuddled by his six-year-old son Brooklyn's maths homework.
Beckham, 30, admitted to being baffled when Brooklyn recently asked for help with a school assignment and had to turn to his former Spice Girls pop star wife Victoria to help out.
"Their homework is so hard these days. I sat down with Brooklyn the other day -- and I was like, 'Victoria, maybe you should do the homework tonight'," Beckham told the Mail on Sunday newspaper.
"I think it was maths, actually. It's done totally differently to what I was teached when I was at school, and you know, I was like, 'Oh my God, I can't do this'.
Brooklyn was like, 'Please do it with me', and I'm like, 'I'll read your book with you'."
The Real Madrid midfielder's son attends the exclusive Runnymede College in the Spanish capital, which follows the British national curriculum.
The Mail on Sunday gave examples of some national curriculum maths questions set for seven-year-olds.
They include: "Bet went to the shop at 11:45. She came back half an hour later. What time did she come back?" and "What is 12 divided by three?"
Beckham also admitted he has no "lucky" pre-match routines, with them too being tough to remember.
"I find that if I follow a routine ... it gets to the stage where you are thinking, 'Right, was it the left side ... the left boot I put on first, or the right side?'
"There are so many things that can go through your mind."
Beckham is set to skipper England in Wednesday's friendly against Uruguay at Liverpool's Anfield stadium.

As much as I don’t like soccer, this one is just too easy to bother with. I’m going to have to hope that he was just trying to build his kids confidence. You know, have his kid see in the papers that he could do something that daddy found tough, help make him feel good about his little self. I fear, though, this isn’t the case, especially since the last time I checked “teached” still wasn’t a word. Like, It’s like a well thing that, like maths is his, like only weekness. Not only that, he also said he’s too stupid to have a good-luck routine because he’d never even be able to remember right from left. This is the best of the soccer world, ladies’ and gentlemen. How can he be the captain of a national team? I don’t care how good he is, there’s clearly no way that anyone who knows him can respect his intellect. Unless all soccer players get the “Captain of the Football Team” special tests handed out to them growing up in England. That would explain why he thinks tough maths like 10 divided by 2 weren’t ever on his high school algebra exams.

Not Mighty Mouse

Phoenix Suns star Amare Stoudemire has been cleared to practice some 5-way play on top of the 1 on 1’s he has gotten back into lately. Amare himself said that “I felt really good with the one-on-ones, and it's not going to change anything if I skip some steps, so I might as well get in five-on-fives.” I speak for all men when I say Amare has once again ensured his spot as our number one hero. For most of us, the step from 1-on-1’s to 3-way play is a lofty enough goal, most-often unreachable even. This man thinks it’s nothing to skip right on up to 5, and kudos to him for his bravado. Anyway, Phoenix holds the 4th best record in the league, strongly on Nash’s shoulders, without Amare. What they’ll be able to do with the best big-man in the league back in the lineup must be a scary thought for the rest of the west. I can’t imagine any other team in the west, outside of Dallas, who would be able to make a run at these guys. Sacremento’s only 2.5 out of the playoffs now, and could be a bit of a surprise, but I don’t think that covers the Suns with Amare. Even the Tru Warier can’t compete with that.

The Link Above

Oh yeah, if you click on that link I pasted up there under the Tru Warier, be sure to CRANK your speakers! I’ll accept your thanks in advance. The tunes you find there are so Phat that Rita McNeil looks like Kate Moss now! Set the player to “Oh Yeah”, sit back and enjoy!

Oh Oh. Yeah Yeah. Oh Oh. Yeah Yeah. Oh Oh. Yeah Yeah. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Yeah.

Does anyone out there think that Ron realizes that his creative misspelling of Warrior is actually itself a word itself? Wary, meaning characterized with caution, making the Tru Warier the person who is ultimately and truly characterized by being cautious and never taking chances. Does Ron realize, or did he have some of Beckham’s tests handed out to him as well?

Help With a New Poll

OK, so once I finally get around to colour-commentating the White-Guy Dunk Contest, I’ve decided now that the new poll will be “Which Athlete Is the Dullest”. So far I have Beckham, Artest and Bobby Clarke as nominees (see any quote from Clarke of the last decade if you doubt that choice), and I’ll be looking for any other suggestions you have. I heard rumours about an NHLer getting 5 out of 30 on a test similar to Beckham’s questions, if someone could find a name to put on that for me that would be great. So get your suggestions in today. onds

Ms. Barry Bonds

If you see that headline and Paula Abdul doesn't come to mind, then consider yourself a much luckier person than me. And do your best to avoid what lies behind that headline at all costs.

When You’re Right, You’re Me

Brian C signed on as the Raptor’s new GM today, and like I said on Friday, it was a match made in heaven. Actually, I’ve quoted some other people already today, so why not quote myself this time. Here is what I had to say about it:

“I think that Mr. Colangelo is incredibly smart, and knows the best way to keep his reputation as being a great basketball mind in tact. Toronto is a team whose most recent GM has taken more flack than anyone who isn’t named Isiah. Quietly, however, the Raptors have built a solid team that will certainly moves its way to the top of the East over the next couple of years. All someone would have to do is step in there and convince people to stay, use the huge amount of cap space Babcock and Emery got the team for the offseason and bring in a big man and a 3 point bench player. If anyone can convince people to play for him, it’s a GM with the reputation of Colangelo. There has never been a more perfect fit in the NBA – the Raptors will finaly have a means to convince players to play in Toronto, while Colangelo will have an easy ride to another executive of the year award. In my mind there is no way this teaming doesn’t happen. Something this easy is just destiny.”

And the B.C. effect has already started. One of the people Colangelo’s reputation would be best used on has already taken note. When asked about the B.C’s hiring, Superstar and future free agent Chris Bosh said, “"He's a successful GM. He has a good rep. You can see his work right now. It's real good to know, just to have somebody come in who has pretty good credentials." The B.C. effect is already paying off, the Superstar is happy, the team is young and talented and has the money to spend in the off-season, and a better chance to do it now. I’m getting my season tickets today; this is the team to watch in the East next year.

Why, though, did the Suns let their GM talk to another team when they are sitting in 4th place overall and looking like the favourite heading into the playoffs? Nothing about that makes sense. Was there that much bad blood with the new ownership that they would allow a parting of ways in the middle of such a season? If that is the case, why did the GM’s dad sell the team to people his family didn’t get along with? Is money really that strong? So strong that he was willing to give up thirty some odd years of family ties to the Suns, who they built and re-built from scratch? That part is baffling, but the ownership allowing the PC to skip away mid-season is just stupidity. And they don’t even have someone in place to replace him. That really must be some bad blood.

One For the Ages

What better way to cap off the Notes of Note that focused mostly on stupidity, then by bringing up soccer yet again. A player in Rumania was sent from Second Division club UT Arad down to Fourth Division club Regal Horia. In exchange, UT Arad received 15kg of meat.

No really, 15kg of meat.

Want more? Upon hearing of the trade, Marius Cioara retired instead of reporting to the Fourth Division, somehow making the team who got 15kg of meat in a trade the team that got the better of the deal. If you think about it, Marius himself could have been converted into 80kg of meat, but they managed to come out ahead in the trade anyway. So it got me thinking; whom else in the sporting world would this be true of, if they weren’t to retire as well. Wade Belak and Andre Roy quickly come to mind. Maybe Bobby Kielty, depending on whom you ask. I’m sure there are others, but they escape me now, and none will ever actually be traded for meat (now that Rob Babcock isn’t responsible for trading away Jalen Rose, that is). That is an honor reserved for the always baffling, rarely entertaining world of soccer.

Want more? When asked about the trade, a Regal Horia official said “We are upset because we lost twice - firstly because we lost a good player and secondly because we lost our team's food for a whole week." Ha.

Want more? Cioara said that he retired to go find work somewhere in Spain in either agriculture or construction. In other words “I’m not ready to quit, I need to keep working, but I would rather be unemployed and scrounge around Spain for anything I can find rather than report to your team”. And yet I’m sure there are many people toiling in the Rumanian Forth league with “hopes” of making it big (although I make this claim having previously been unaware that a 2nd division existed in Rumania, let alone a 4th division). I wonder how those hopes are fairing after this trade. “A guy that was just traded for meat is too good to play on my team? Wow. Like, I bet he can like divide and stuff too.”

Goodnight everybody!

Yes, Cioara could have been turned into 80kg of meat, but what kind of meat? I'm sure he's nothing like the top notch sirloin they got in exchange. Good on him for retiring, though. Nothing like being traded for a sack of meat as your last impression in the soccer world.

soccer's teh gay. great articles.

dumbest athlets - mike tyson. "i'm gonna eat your children". thats the man.

thanks for the artest link.

artets drops it sick

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