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Saturday, February 18, 2006 

Round and Round

The World Is Upside-down

Halfway through the Olympic Games and the medal standings are as follows:

................... G S B Tot
1. Norway.... 1 6 6 13
2. Germany. 5 4 2 11
2. Russia..... 5 2 4 11
2. Canada.... 2 4 5 11
5. USA......... 6 3 1 10

This is unheard of at this point, the Canadians are actually ahead of the Americans for now. Has the world gone topsy turvy? Well not so fast. Take a look at 8 of the 11 medals that the Canadians have won.

Gold – Moguls, Skeleton
Silver – Team Cross Country Skiing, Skeleton, and 2 in Team Pursuit
Bronze – Skeleton, Snowboard Cross

That’s right, make up enough fake sports, and any country can come out on top. As it turns out that Canadians have the most free time to spend on freak winter sports. I mean, how many Canadians haven’t gone hurdling down a hill face first on a Krazy Karpet? Skeleton was made with crazy canuck kids in mind. The Gold medal winner also set the record as the oldest Olympic gold medallist in history, with just 6 months until his big 4-0 to smash the old record of 35. That itself says something about the skelton competition.

Without these medals it would be 3 bonze medals and a spot down the medal list at this point for Canada, but so goes the world where trampoline and ballroom dancing are more representative of world sports than baseball. I still have faith, though, that the American will shoot well past the Canadians by the end of the games. Canada should certainly enjoy their lead for now, though, it’s not something that happens every 4 years.

Women’s Hockey

To those of you who said I shouldn’t condone the Canadian women’s outright destruction of their opponents, take note today. I said the reason they had to do it was to be able to put off playing the Swedes, as they have made big strides in their program. Sure enough, Canada gets the tie break, and the Americans are forced to play Sweden in the semi-finals. What’s the end result? The Americans lost today in a shoot out against the Swedes, setting up the first final in the history of women’s hockey history (15 plus years) that does involve Canada and the states. As a reward for blowing away their round robin competition, the Canadians were rewarded with a blowout win over Finland. And all those Canadians, Don Cherry included, who were all over the Canadian women for running up their scores better be choking on their words today.

By the way, with their loss today the Americans overall record against Canada stands at 9-26-1, while against the rest of the world they fall to 60-1-2. Sweden is giving note that the money and attention they have spent on their women’s hockey team is paying off, just in time for women’s hockey to be removed from the Olympics for the 2014 games. Too little, too late, but at least there’s a little something special to look forward to no in women’s hockey. The days of guaranteed same old same old are behind us, and with Sweden leaping ahead in third, Russia is sure to follow and pay more attention to their teams. Good news for women’s hockey, but like I said it’s probably a little too late at this point. If the next games weren’t in Canada this sport would be gone already. And it’s too bad too, because there is nothing hotter than women playing hockey. Hands down the sexiest look for a woman is wearing nothing but shin guards, hockey socks and hockey pants. You really just don’t see enough of that.

Groin Watch

According to Thomas Vokoun, I retired the groin watch prematurely. In an interview yesterday, Vokoun claimed that the injury Hasek originally called a hamstring pull was in reality a groin injury. Even I’m getting tired of all the groin injuries at this point. Something must be done, and soon. It’s out of control at this point.

Medal Watch

USA – Lindsey Jacobellis, Ladies’ Snowboard Cross, Silver

Canada – Duff Gibson, Men’s Skelton, Gold
Jeff Pain, Men’s Skelton, Silver
Dominique Maltais, Ladies’ Snowboard Cross, Bronze

womans hockey sucks

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  • Kent MacDonald
  • Toronto, Ontario, Canada
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