The Kentbert Report
So I'm logging into the email today, and I have my normal spread of emails to go through - people with baseball questions, married women looking for a go0d f$ck, offers to make big money from Nigeria (one of them will pay off, i just know it!), and so on, and then I see it. Something way out of the ordinary in my inbox - an email from The Curling News. I'm intrigued because, as you all know, I've always liked the curling. I give updates in my blog, called it one of the few Olympic sports worth watching, I never miss a Brier and so on. I am one of the few sports bloggers out there who actually bothers with curling in any way, so I thought maybe I was finally going to be praised for all my curling endorsements.
I open the email, and all it says is
Simple enough, although it sure sounded like truthiness to me. I had mentioned during the blogathon on the weekend that there wasn't any curling news because curling was in it's offseason. I took the time anyway to devote one of my posts to curling, and sure I might have said that curling didn't make an interest read in the offseason, or something along those lines, but curling was still mentioned. Because of what I said I thought I was maybe being directed to some interesting news that came up in curling that I had missed, and was happy to take the suggestion... until I opened the page. At the bottom of the post, it says:
Cut me some slack? Oh no, it is I who is the one that cuts slack for others. Nothing I ever do needs to have slack cut for it. As I mentioned throughout the blogathon, my work is gold. All gold. How anyone could find the nerve to cut me any slack is beyond reproach.
What's worse is that I read this Curling News blog post he sent to see what the "news" was which I "missed". The post mentioned a local curling club that's opening for the season in Edmonton, and that a couple more are opening up soon in Ontario towns. It mentions the one local club in Toronto that shut down, and was baffled over why there isn't a political uproar about it (anyone else out there baffled? anyone?). Some old team reunited, some random American did a news article about learning curling, and that's pretty much it. Absolutely nothing that is noteworthy outside of remote local interest stories.
In fact, if you dig a little deeper, on the tsn.ca curling page, they haven't had a new headline or post of any sort since June 15th. And that post was about how they are the exclusive home of curling coverage in Canada through 2014. That's right, the official home of curling coverage feels like there has been nothing worth mentioning in nearly two months, and I get called an arse (really, with the "r" and everything) for saying there isn't anything worth mentioning. In fact, on The Curling News' website itself, not this fringe blog that is somewhat associated with it, their main page has a listing of the top 15 male curlers as of May 1st, and a mention that the April 2006 edition of the paper is now available by subscription only. That's right, the very website who's blog called me out hasn't updated anything noteworthy in nearly 3 months.
I have always been a big supporter of curling, but now I don't know. Even though your calendar of naked women was a bold venture into my heart, I still think I'm going to have to do it - Curling, you are on notice. Next years might be the first Brier final ever I don't go out of my way to see. You certainly have a lot of making up to do before then. Curling joins the list of the following who are already on notice with me:
John Tortorella
Ken Hitchcock
Mosquitos
Jaromir Jagr
Denis Gauthier
Kelly Hrudy
Mini-Babcock
Bobbleheads
Anaheim Ducks
Curling
Along those same lines, The Curling News, I may be an arse, but you are dead to me.
And that's the Kentbert Report. Goodnight.
I open the email, and all it says is
Actually... there's lots of news.
http://curlnews.blogspot.com/2006/08/curling-in-august.html
Cheers,
TCN\
Simple enough, although it sure sounded like truthiness to me. I had mentioned during the blogathon on the weekend that there wasn't any curling news because curling was in it's offseason. I took the time anyway to devote one of my posts to curling, and sure I might have said that curling didn't make an interest read in the offseason, or something along those lines, but curling was still mentioned. Because of what I said I thought I was maybe being directed to some interesting news that came up in curling that I had missed, and was happy to take the suggestion... until I opened the page. At the bottom of the post, it says:
and this guy (REFERRING TO SPORTS GUY NORTH, OF COURSE) seems, on first glance, to be a complete arse, but hey, this was Blogpost number 38 during a 24-hour Blogathon – for charity – so maybe we’ll cut him some slack. Just this once.
Cut me some slack? Oh no, it is I who is the one that cuts slack for others. Nothing I ever do needs to have slack cut for it. As I mentioned throughout the blogathon, my work is gold. All gold. How anyone could find the nerve to cut me any slack is beyond reproach.
What's worse is that I read this Curling News blog post he sent to see what the "news" was which I "missed". The post mentioned a local curling club that's opening for the season in Edmonton, and that a couple more are opening up soon in Ontario towns. It mentions the one local club in Toronto that shut down, and was baffled over why there isn't a political uproar about it (anyone else out there baffled? anyone?). Some old team reunited, some random American did a news article about learning curling, and that's pretty much it. Absolutely nothing that is noteworthy outside of remote local interest stories.
In fact, if you dig a little deeper, on the tsn.ca curling page, they haven't had a new headline or post of any sort since June 15th. And that post was about how they are the exclusive home of curling coverage in Canada through 2014. That's right, the official home of curling coverage feels like there has been nothing worth mentioning in nearly two months, and I get called an arse (really, with the "r" and everything) for saying there isn't anything worth mentioning. In fact, on The Curling News' website itself, not this fringe blog that is somewhat associated with it, their main page has a listing of the top 15 male curlers as of May 1st, and a mention that the April 2006 edition of the paper is now available by subscription only. That's right, the very website who's blog called me out hasn't updated anything noteworthy in nearly 3 months.
I have always been a big supporter of curling, but now I don't know. Even though your calendar of naked women was a bold venture into my heart, I still think I'm going to have to do it - Curling, you are on notice. Next years might be the first Brier final ever I don't go out of my way to see. You certainly have a lot of making up to do before then. Curling joins the list of the following who are already on notice with me:
John Tortorella
Ken Hitchcock
Mosquitos
Jaromir Jagr
Denis Gauthier
Kelly Hrudy
Mini-Babcock
Bobbleheads
Anaheim Ducks
Curling
Along those same lines, The Curling News, I may be an arse, but you are dead to me.
And that's the Kentbert Report. Goodnight.
lolol... you are too much kent. there should be a lot more sportswirters like you out here on "the" internet... rotfl.. great job
Posted by Anonymous | 11:14 PM
HAHAHAHAHAHA....Thanks for the laugh!!!
....although I must admit that I do like watching curling
Posted by Anonymous | 10:18 AM
stick it to those curling bastards. who do they think they are?
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hahaha *thumbs up*
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yeah, take that, lol
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Hey, Kent. I got suckered into this, so now you are too...
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