Sports Guy North

A Celtic of and Idea

Well, when you're right, you're right. And the Celtics looked just awful in their game against the Timber Wolves. Not only did the Wolves win 110 to 85 but the new Wolves combined for 54 points, 14 assists, 5 blocks and 16 rebounds in 98 minutes, while the new Celtics had 24 points, 3 assists, 0 blocks and 3 rebounds in 36 minutes. Not only that, but the sharp decline at center for the Celtics from removing Blount from a LaFrentz/Perkins combination was huge. They combined for a whole 4 points through the first 3 quarters. Blount and Griffin combined for 22. And that is where the game was lost right there. The comparison of Wally versus Ricky is moot after that point. The Celtics have done themselves a grave disservice with this trade, and tonight just went to show how grave it was. I can't wait to see how ESPN's sports guy tries to justify what happened in last nights game. I'm sure, though, that he'll give it his best effort.

The trade, however, along with Chris Anderson's banishment, did bring a great idea to the forefront - an All-White Dunk Contest. The Birdman's debacle in last years contest was the highlite of All-Star weekend for me, and probably for many other people. I struggle to remember other highlites from the weekend, but the Birdmans antics are still fresh in my mind like it was just yesterday. We need more of this, and hence we need the All-White Dunk Contest.

Not just any white guy will do, mind you. They need to be the whitest of white players in the league. For example, Nash and Nowitski clearly can play basketball with the best of them, and without looking too awkward. They just won't do, they just aren't white. They have to be reminiscent of the Birdman to qualify. Bryant "Big Country" Reeves would be an excellent example from the past.

With that I ask you who you would like to see in the All-White classic. I'll get the ball rolling with my three favourites: Half-a Man Araujo from the Raptors, Darko from the Pistons, and none other that Dauber himself (does anyone remember the TV series coach? This guy is totally Dauber), Chris Kaman from the Clippers. If you have other suggestions let me know this week, then we will post a poll leading up to the All Star break to find out who the most popular All White Guy Dunk Contest candidates would be.


Vinsane in the Membrane

*WARNING* Raptors fans, you may want to stop reading at this point. The following article is going to grind your last nerve to the bone. You have been warned.

As everyone knows by now, Kobe Bryant had a bit of a game last week. He took a trip to the record books as only the second person in history to clear the 80 point mark. Not only that, he carried the team on his back during the game, and led them to a huge comeback victory over the Raptors. After the game, his teammates had nothing but good things to say about his performance, and how he led them as a team to the victory. But that goes without saying, right? How could anyone have anything negative to say about such an awe-inspiring, record setting performance that we will all remember for year to come. It can't be done.

Always looking to tackle a challenge, leave it to Vince Carter to find a way to do the impossible. Always a class act, following Kobe Bryant's 81 point performance last week, Vince had the following to say:

"The only bad thing about it is that younger kids, whose minds are easily warped, are going to think, ohhh, I am going to go out there and do it instead of the team concept first"

Honestly, that is what Vince Carter had to say. Vince, the man to whom the word "team" stands for "Vince and some guys", and even then only if he decides that they have a chance at the playoffs. This is the man who completely bailed on his team in Toronto until his infantile tactics finally got him a trade out of town to a potential contender. Immediately following the trade, his play improved ten-fold and his lingering injuries all miraculously healed. Have a look at his statistics for last year. Before the trade Vince was averaging career lows with 15.8 points, 3.3 rebounds and 3.0 assists per game. Following the trade, in the exact same season, Vince average CAREER HIGHS with 27.5 points, 5.9 rebounds and 4.7 assists. In the same season where he was capable of putting up his best numbers, he put up his worst numbers for Toronto. I'm sure he was just holding back for his team, so that they could feel better about themselves instead of just relying on him. Everyone got to think "Hey, I'm better than Vince, and Vince is a superstar! I must be pretty good!". That's the kind of hit Vince was willing to take for the team. Now that is a team player!

He went on to say:

"That is what is missing in the game, guys understanding how to play as a team"

Kobe may be described as a bit of a selfish player, but that has a lot to do with no other real options being in Los Angeles to pass to. It's not like he has Richard Jefferson or Jason Kidd on the floor to help him, so it's no wonder her lead the league last year in shots per game. Oh, but by the way, Vince Carter finished a close second, only 0.1 shots per game behind. Don't be mistaken, though, unlike Kobe, Vince was taking all those shots for the team.

As if that wasn't enough, Vinny capped it off with this gem:

"I think it is great for the NBA. They want scoring, they want ratings, and you are going to get that. You are definitely going to get them now with the amount of 50-point games, 60-plus games. I just hope that kids and young guys understand that only special guys can do that. Yeah, they were trying to get Kobe the ball, they wanted to see a special night. But they all know their roles."

He mentions the amount of 60-plus point games like they happen every day. So far this year, Kobe has a 62 point and an 81 point game. That's it. It's disgusting how often that is happening! Vince also mentions 50-point games in there. How confused is he at this point. Vince himself is one of the people with a 50 point game this year. So is he bad-mouthing himself, or is he saying that 50 and 60 point games are good for the NBA, but 80 point games are bad for the future of the game? Can anyone decipher this for me? Does he even know what he means?

All I know is that with this, Vince Carter has now secured his spot as the most disgusting person in the history of professional sports, if that wasn't already his title. And this is a history that includes Bob Probert, Bobby Clarke and OJ Simpson. Congratulations, Vince, you are the only person who has been able to explain how Rob Babcocks dealing you to the Nets was a good move.


Groin Watch.

Ed Jovanovski requires surgery on his abdominal/groin injury, and will not only be unavailable for the Olympics, but may be finished for the year. On another groin front, Bryan McCabe didn't play in the Leafs game last night as many expected him to, but is said to be ready for the next game. Fortunately for the Leafs losing streak they were involved in the next best thing to getting an MVP back - they played the Florida Panthers. With their first win in 9 games, the Leafs managed to hang onto the final playoff spot with Bryan's return immanent. With that, all hope is not lost in Leafland. They didn't fall as far in the standings without McCabe as they should have, had the other teams in the East outside of New Jersey bothered to show up. I would, though, still recommend a minor fire sale and starting from scratch. Although they won't admit it, Leafs fans would much rather have their team miss the playoffs than lose a series to the Senators, which would be an inevitability this year. I'm not sure how die-hard Leaf fans would be able to deal with such an event. If the Leafs do manage to squeak into the playoffs and draw a matchup with the Sens, go out and buy as much Molson and Labbatt stock as you can. Millions of Leaf fans are going to drive those stock prices way up.